How To Make an Apple Pipe
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By Curly
Howdy, Lazy DIY-ers! Today is when you realize the week’s either going too fast or going too slow. If you’re still slogging through a mid-week rut, inject some fun into your post-work wind-down with these DIY pipes.
There are infinite possibilities when it comes to homemade bowls. We’re just going to show you two cheap, easy and handy projects that the interwebs provided us: the tried-and-true apple bong and a Starburst pipe. The first was great, and the second needed … improvisation. We followed Master Bong’s tutorial for the latter, but I thought I was smarter than this guy and decided scissors were a bad idea. My stubbornness and the Texas heat were, ultimately, our downfall. Well, why didn’t you buy two packs? We did. For the inevitable Starburst cravings, and we ate them all, and there were no regrets.
Despite our attempts to salvage the Starburst pipe—bamboo skewers, paper clips, flattening and rolling, aluminum foil—ended up as a multicolored glop we molded into a mushroom. Learn from us, friends: Don’t eat your second pack, and don’t do outdoors in Texas.
Cost
Apple: $ .46
Starburst: $1.58 (.79 per pack)
Apple bong
1 apple
1 housekey
1 plastic straw (optional)
First, take the stem out of your apple and, using your housekey, screw downward about halfway through the remaining hole.
Next, use the key to punch a hole on each side of the apple (perpendicular to the stem hole). Screw the key through to connect the two incisions; you should be able to see through it to the other side. The channel should be more or less centered, too. The front hole is the shotty, the back one the mouthpiece.
Pack the bowl you punched into the top of the apple. If you have a straw, stick it into the mouthpiece hole—make sure not to punch all the way through, just to where the bowl is. If not, skip it and take a nice, long hit. Happy Hump Day!
Starburst Pipe
2 packs of Starburst candies
1 corkscrew
1 skewer of chocolate-covered marshmallows
1 paperclip
aluminum foil
extra Starburst wrapper
This is just gonna get summarized since I screwed it up. Go to this tutorial for actual instructions, or keep reading hear for the shenanigans that ensued. So I started out as the tutorial recommended and squished the Starburst candies together, broad side to broad side. It should look like an ombre caterpillar.
I thought a corkscrew would work better than the recommended scissors. It didn’t.
It left gunk in there, and you want a clean hole so it hits easily. I tried a paperclip, but the candies, stickier every minute we were in the sun, were not cooperating. We saw a skewer with chocolate-covered marshmallows lying around the kitchen, so we thought the skewer would fix this. Naturally, this meant we had to bite the bullet and eat them first.
We skewered through, made the bowl through the top of one end, but then the bowl wouldn’t hit. We really recommend not doing this because of what you’d be inhaling, but we even tried aluminum foil out of desperation, to no avail. We had a quickly melting tube of high fructose corn syrup on our hands, so we tried a grip made of the wrapper.
We then tried flattening and rolling the hole pipe and rolling it in on itself, trying to fight the glopping, but there was no way back from it. So we just made a magical mushroom.
So, for $3.04, you got an natural, fruity bong and a not-so-natural, fruity art project. Now, that wasn’t so painful, right?
